What could be the worst line you could learn to speak in any foreign language? No it is not curse words. It is also not the Joe’s “How you doin?”. The worst like you could learn from any foreign language is to ask the person can he speak some other language.
Well I was in Goa last week. And this time of the year Goa is full of Russians. I mean really full. Well there wasn’t much crowed compared to last year, as they say. But still you could see Russians more than locals.
I was standing in front of this ATM. In side 2 Babushkas (“Old lady” in Russian) were staring at the screen. Screen was running add after add and they were trying to read. Finally one of them open the door and spoke the only word from English language they know. “Help”. Because I want to withdraw next I left with no choice to help them. Not that I wouldn’t had otherwise. But I was desperate to help them Even though I am little selfish.
So I entered in side. It was crowded place as 3 of us were there. There was one lady with card. And this other lady double of her size. Thank god they built big door. This ATM was new one (as far as India) It does not swallow your ATM card. You just have to swipe in and out. To begin with, she was expecting ATM to swallow her card. I showed her when “Light turn Green you press the number” Thank god she understand that part. She wasn’t using normal ATM card but some Insta Cash card of Visa. It was taking too long to connect server. We tried to withdraw 2 times and failed. I ask them to check balance. “Blance, Blance” the big lady prompted. That was new word of Russian I learned that day. Failed again. They looked at me with question mark on their faces. So I tried to explain. But they didn’t get my English.
I have seen a 15 minute long Video on Russian Language on Youtube. It was I think about “How to get hooked up with Russian”. Because conversation lines were addressed to young girl (Debushka). The first (and only) line I learned to speak of Russian is “Vi Ponimayote Pon Englisia?” Which means “You understand English?”
Now why would you ask any Russian does he/she know English in Russian? If she understand English ask in English she will answer “Yes” if doesn’t she will say “Niyed” (No in Russian.
But that the only thing I knew, and these ladies were not getting their train on English track so I made blunder and did ask that silly question. Looking at my skin colour which is lighter compared to most Indians and green eyes, they thought I am one of them. They might have thought my skin colour is darker due to tan. And they started bombarding me with their heavy Russian. Both of them at the same time. And they weren’t speaking same words. I shook my in front of their faces to tell them I did not get a word of what they are saying. Then the other lady asked me something. Ending with the word “Pa Rossi” I knew she is asking something regarding Russian. I shook my head negatively and said “Niyed” They thought I am mocking them. Knowing Russian I purposefully denying to speak it. They went out of ATM murmuring something in Russian which sound like “Spasibo” or something. I don’t remember.
I replied “Das Vidaniya” (There was a Bollywood/Hindi movie by that name)
If someone Reading this and speak Russian please let me know how to say “I Don’t know Russian Will you please speak English?” (I do not trust Google Translator. It is awful while translating Indian Languages)
